Something about mothers strikes me as profound: No matter what their children look or act like, no matter what they go through or put their family through, there is a hard-to-explain, deep affection mothers feel for their children. An unconditional love that drives them to new levels of sacrifice, commitment, and protectiveness they never knew they were capable of living.
All these years, I have been the child on the receiving end of that kind of love. But in three months I will cross over to a new perspective, will take on the name "Mommy", look into my baby's eyes for the first time, and experience the incredible rush of new-found love that is Motherhood.
I think I am beginning to understand that bond.
As our baby kicks, stretches, turns, and and even hiccups inside my body, I smile in wonder at the thought that within me is growing a new human being; a child, a person who has an identity and a future. A child that God created by bringing my husband and I together in such a beautifully unique and intricate way that no evolution theory could begin to explain; a child that will reflect Andrew and I in physical likeness and personality. A child that has a name and a place in God's plan for His glory.
I do not know if this baby is a boy or girl, but I am ever more growing a love for this tiny person inside me. I cannot wait until I can meet him or her for the first time, see what he or she looks like, and finally hold in my arms the one I have been praying for since my youth. (If your heart desires to have a husband and family, start praying for your future husband and children now! Even if you're only 15! It is powerful and effective.)
I still cannot believe that I am going to be a Mom. I have dreamed and prayed and fantasized about it ever since I was a girl, and now it is finally here! God has been faithful in His promises to me! It has come as I have trusted Him to fulfill the very desires HE gave me.
I am ready to enter into that Motherly Love that will change my life forever.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
I’m taking the plunge, making the jump, leaping across the line from paper journal to electronic blog. In the old days when I was single, in college, and working part time, I would spend hours—hours—at my favorite coffee shop, iPod turned up, with my Bible, leather journal, and a hot cup of chai as my friends.
Now that I’m married, working full time, and preparing for our first baby to come in just 4 months I’m wishing I had that same free time to slip away, get lost in my Bible, sip on a French Mint Mocha and pour out my reflections on my favorite parchment.
But times are different…now that I live 40 miles from my favorite coffee shop and juggle work, keeping up our house, and caring for my husband (phew…we don’t even have kids yet!) I may never have that kind of free time like I did before. Needless to say, my hobby of writing has been put on the back burner. But I have observed in myself in the last year a growing ache to release my thoughts and dreams and desires, if for nothing more than release itself, although I always enjoy feedback from those who read my words.
So I’m conforming to the trend of many other writers. I cringe at the thought of giving in to the information age, giving up my paper journal for a broadcast blog, and detaching myself in a sense from the joy and discipline of taking the time to handwrite my thoughts. I tell myself that I will still steal any opportunity to get away and write in my favorite parchment journal…this blog will just be my outlet for those day-to-day ponderings that I will likely not have time to sit down and write out by hand, away from all distractions, especially once our son or daughter arrives.
Thus…welcome to my Parchment Ponderings; paper-meant thoughts in a paperless age.